


Halloween Handcuffs

by Zeplerfer



Series: Holiday Handcuffs [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alfred is a drunken idiot, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Sexy Costumes, Sexy cop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-28 00:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8423326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeplerfer/pseuds/Zeplerfer
Summary: Alfred and his roommate invite all their gay male friends to a costume party for Halloween. And then a surprise guest arrives!





	1. Chapter 1

Taking another swig of his rum and coke, Alfred glanced around at the cute guys in costumes and grinned. His roommate’s decision to invite all of their gay male friends for a Halloween party had been a _great_ idea. It was only 11pm on the Sunday before Halloween and his house was already filled with an international smorgasbord of hunks in skimpy clothes.

Alfred readjusted his cowboy hat and flashed a grin at a nearby sexy merman. “Damn, I’d like to ‘sea’ under that costume,” he said with a wink.

The dark skinned brunette laughed cheerfully. “So would my boyfriend.”

“Lucky guy,” Alfred said, feeling a flash of disappointment. Fortunately for him, there were more fish in the sea. He made his way through the crowd, flirting left and right with puns that grew increasingly worse the more he drank (not that they had been particularly good to start with). The construction worker ‘looked like he had a great erection.’ The sexy Mormon was ‘hotter than hell.’ The pirate was ‘shivering me timber.’ And the Japanese fox… actually, Alfred didn’t say anything to him because he wasn’t a goddamn furry.

After striking out for the fifth time that night, Alfred made his way back to the bar and refilled his rum and coke with a little more rum. Over the din of the rollicking Halloween party, he barely heard the doorbell ring. Always ready to welcome more partiers (especially more hot gay guys!), he made his way past a handsome lumberjack and staggered down the stairs. Gripping the handrail tight, he wondered when the stairs had gotten so tilted.

The doorbell rang again. _Someone_ was impatient.

“Coming!” Alfred shouted as he stumbled the final few steps toward the door. He swung it open and his mouth dropped in shock. Standing on his welcome mat was a handsome young man wearing the best damn costume he had seen all night.

The cute blond at the door had gone for the sexy policeman look and he had _nailed_ it. Navy blue trousers hugged each leg. His jacket was perfectly tailored to show off a lean chest. And a pair of sexy handcuffs dangled from the belt around his waist. Alfred wondered how this guy knew his roommate. More importantly, he wondered why his roommate hadn’t introduced them before.

Alfred gaped. “Dude, that ish a _great_ costume,” he said, looking up and down the other man’s lean form.

“It’s not—”

“Yeah, it is!” Alfred grinned. “You look fanfuckingtastic.”

“As much as I appreciate the compliment, it isn’t a costume.” The man lifted an eyebrow in amusement and flashed a badge. “I’m Constable Arthur Kirkland and I’m here about the noise complaints.”

“Well, _hello_ officer!” Alfred replied cheerfully. He liked roleplaying and the guy’s attention to detail was amazing. His badge looked almost real! “Sorry ‘bout the noise. You can come up to my bedroom where it’s more quieter,” he offered.

“I don’t think that’s the solution your neighbors are looking for,” Arthur replied wryly. “May I come upstairs?”

“Yeah, ‘course!” Alfred readily agreed. He stood and watched the handsome policeman climb the stairs with an appreciative glance. The way the man’s trousers hugged his butt was almost a crime. He definitely had the bobby… booby… booty. Bobby booty! Alfred laughed to himself and stumbled up after the sexy cop. Man, he’d really like to cop a feel. Feel a cop.

Silence washed over the party as Constable Kirkland reached the top of the stairs. Clearly they were just as impressed with his costume as Alfred was! In fact, Arthur was so hot that everyone was going to try making a move on him. Alfred had to act fast!

“Wanna drink?” he asked as soon as he caught up with Arthur. His voice rang out loudly in the living room and the crowd of people turned to stare at him in surprise. “We’ve got lots!”

“I’m sure you do,” Arthur agreed. “But I can’t drink on the job.”

“Right. You’re busy ‘working,’” Alfred agreed with a grin. Arthur didn’t just have a good costume, he was also a great actor. It reminded him of those pornos where a cop arrived at a party and started stripping almost immediately. He wondered if Arthur planned to strip. That would definitely be the highlight of the party. Heck, it might be the highlight of Alfred’s life.

“ _Alfred_ ,” his brother Matthew hissed at him, going unnoticed despite his bright red Mountie outfit. “That’s not a costume, that’s a cop!”

The American laughed and shook his head. “Cops are pudgy and ugly, Matt. This guy is way too hot,” he whispered back in a voice so loud everyone in the room heard it.

Shaking his head with amusement, Arthur turned toward Matthew and gave him a reassuring look. “I’m not here to break up your party. Your neighbors just want you to turn down the music and keep it a bit quieter.”

“Right, sir. Of course!” Matthew agreed, nodding nervously. “Please don’t arrest my brother. He’s just a drunken idiot.”

Arthur chuckled. “It’s not against the law to be drunk or an idiot. If it were, I’d have a lot more work to do.”

Alfred felt a wave of irritation at his brother for flirting with the cute constable when he was standing _right next_ to them, but forgot it as soon as the shiny handcuffs dangling from Arthur’s belt caught his attention. “Ooh, handcuffs!” he cried excitedly. “Those would look great on you.”

“Excuse me?” Arthur asked, turning toward him.

“Or on me! I’m flexible.” Alfred grinned. “ _Really_ flexible.”

Matthew buried his face into his hands and mumbled something about not being related to his embarrassment of a twin brother.

“You know, I can’t say I’ve ever met someone so eager to get into my handcuffs,” Arthur replied with a good-natured grin.

“It’s not your handcuffs I want to get—” the rest of Alfred’s answer turned into a mumble as Matthew covered his mouth with the palm of his hand.

“Please shut up,” Matthew begged.

Arthur tipped his police cap at the group of quiet partiers. “Thank you for being considerate of the neighbors,” he said, before making his way back down the stairs.

Seeing the lust of his life get away, Alfred broke free of his brother’s grasp and drunkenly stumbled after him. “Wait! I’ve still got to invite you to coffee and donuts!” he cried, nearly tripping over his own feet as he rushed down the stairs.

“That’s a nice offer,” Arthur replied. “You should have started with that one.”

“Really? You’ll go out with me?” Alfred asked excitedly.

“No. I’m on duty and you’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk,” Alfred protested.

“You’ve just spent the past ten minutes completely oblivious to the fact that I am actually a constable,” Arthur replied. “You’re either an idiot or very drunk.”

“He’s both!” someone shouted from the top of the staircase.

Arthur snorted. “Well, that would explain a lot.”

“You’re not staying?” Alfred asked.

“No, I already have more calls to respond to.”

“Oh.” He was being ditched in favor of other parties. Even the copious amounts of alcohol flowing through his veins wasn’t enough to warm Alfred as he thought about his cold bed. “Don’t you wanna arrest me for drinkin’ underage?” he suggested hopefully.

“Really?” Arthur looked surprised. “How old are you?”

“Nineteen.”

Arthur’s look of surprise turned to one of relief. “This is England. You’re not underage here.”

“Oh, thas right. Man, I love England!” Alfred shouted as he hugged the surprised constable, nearly knocking them both over in his enthusiasm.

“Yes, yes, it’s a great country,” Arthur agreed as he steadied himself and then gently pushed Alfred away. “Now, go to bed, you’re drunk.”

“Right. Nighty-night!” Alfred cried, waving one hand goodbye as he hid the other behind his back. He grinned happily as he watched the sexy cop walk down the sidewalk. He hated to see Arthur leave, but he loved to watch him go.

Alfred found the party much quieter and more subdued after he climbed up the stairs to the living room. His brother gave him a particularly exasperated look and shook his head. “Is the cop gone?” he asked.

“Don’ worry, he’ll come back,” Alfred declared.

“No, he won’t,” Matthew insisted.

“Yeah, he will.” Alfred grinned and showed off his shiny prize. “I got his handcuffs!”


	2. Halloween Hangover

Alfred woke up Halloween afternoon with a pounding headache and a vague sense that he had done something stupid the night before.

Squinting in the bright light, he glanced around his bedroom and tried to piece his fragmented memories together. He remembered propositioning an entire house full of hot guys, but he had woken up alone. There was no one else in his bed and the only discarded clothing on the floor was his chaps, vest, and cowboy hat.

Wincing as he lifted himself onto his elbows, Alfred saw a glass of water on his nightstand and chugged it down greedily. That told him it was Matthew who had helped him into bed. His other friends weren’t quite so considerate. Matt had even left a note:

_I have to go to work. Call me if you get arrested_.

Alfred gulped. Now he _really_ wondered what had happened the night before. He noticed a glitter of metal hiding under his pillow and blinked in surprise when he pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Vague memories of a sexy cop at the party filtered into his brain.

The handcuffs made an intimidating clink as he set them on his nightstand. These were expensive ‘cuffs, not the usual cheap plastic. That made sense though, because he remembered the sexy cop had a really impressive costume (and a nice ass).

Hoping that some coffee would help refresh his memories, Alfred stumbled down the hallway to the kitchen wearing only his briefs. He poured himself a cup of leftover coffee and heated it in the microwave. It wasn’t Starbucks quality. It wasn’t even McDonald’s quality. But at least it was strong enough to overpower the disgusting taste in his mouth.

After another cup and a piece of toast, he felt almost human. Since his brother had been nice enough to let him host the party, Alfred grabbed a trash bag and began picking up the mess in the living room. There were paper plates and sticky red cups and one pair of briefs that he threw into the trash because he really didn’t want to know who it belonged to. Fortunately, there didn’t seem to be any vomit. All in all, he would call the party a success.

As he looked through the living room, a few more memories returned. The sexy cop grinning at his jokes. His suggestion that that put the handcuffs to better use. Had they? Was that how they had ended up in his bed? Alfred wished he could remember.

Feeling a little grimy, he grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom for a shower. He scrubbed off the smell of stale alcohol and sweat. Despite his throbbing headache, he found himself fantasizing about the sexy cop busting in on him in the shower and ‘punishing’ him. The daydream was good enough to help Alfred forget his hangover, at least for a little while.

Just as he was stepping out of the shower, the obnoxiously loud sound of the doorbell sent a lance of pain through Alfred’s brain. Ugh. It was too early for Trick-or-Treaters.

Alfred grabbed his fogged-up glasses from the sink, wrapped a towel around his waist, and stumbled downstairs. He peered through the peephole and nearly dropped his towel. Not only was his visitor the sexy cop from the night before, sexy cop was even sexier than he remembered! Instead of a cop costume, he was dressed in tight jeans and a trim, dark green button-down.

“Hey!” Alfred cried as he excitedly opened the door. He winced at how loud his own voice sounded ringing in his ears. No wonder Mattie complained about his volume. “It’s good to see you, uh, guy from last night,” he added in a much quieter voice.

“Arthur,” the man responded. Of course! How could he have forgotten such an angelic name? Memories flashed through his mind of Arthur introducing himself and showing off an impressive looking badge. “Given that you didn’t even remember my name,” Arthur continued, “I’m going to presume that you don’t remember why I’m here. May I come in?”

“Course!” Alfred gestured toward the stairs. The extremely pleasing view as Arthur climbed up in front of him was also vaguely familiar. “Want something to drink?” he offered as he led Arthur to the tiny kitchen.

“No, thank you,” the other man said with an amused smile that he didn’t understand.

“So, last night…” Alfred began, wondering how to ask whether or not they had sex without making it seem like he had forgotten. He didn’t want Arthur to think he was forgettable.

“Was quite interesting. I’ve been to many parties, but I have to say… I’ve never had an experience like that before.”

“No?” Alfred asked, encouraged by the way that sounded.

“No. But I would appreciate my handcuffs back.”

“Of course!” Alfred said. He hurried off to his bedroom to fetch the ‘cuffs. While he was at it, he grabbed a wrinkled t-shirt and pair of shorts from his pile of clothes and pulled them on. It wasn’t fair that Arthur was the only one wearing clothes. With any luck, he would have a chance to take them off later. He returned to the kitchen and dropped the handcuffs into Arthur’s outstretched hand.

“You still have no idea what you did, do you?” Arthur asked with a smile.

“Um.” Alfred froze, caught in Arthur’s piercing gaze. “No? Was it illegal?”

“Yes, very.”

Alfred gulped. “Do you think I’ll get arrested?”

“No. Fortunately for you, I don’t think any constable wants his entire station to know that some drunk yank stole his gear. He’d prefer to keep it quiet.”

“Oh.” Alfred breathed a sigh of relief. “I can do that. I’ve forgotten it already.”

“Well done.” Arthur slipped the handcuffs into his pocket and smiled. “I’d better get this taken care of before anyone notices it’s missing.”

“Right,” Alfred replied. As much as he liked the idea of a sexy cop ‘arresting’ him and ‘punishing’ him, an actual arrest didn’t sound fun at all. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to make it up to him.”

Arthur gave him a considering look. “Is your offer of coffee and donuts still on the table?”

“Of course,” Alfred agreed, even though he wasn’t entirely certain who wanted the date.

Arthur jotted a phone number onto a napkin and passed it over to Alfred. “Give me a call and pick a place that has tea. I should be off duty next weekend.”

Still confused, Alfred just grinned and nodded. He waved goodbye as Arthur left, then stood in the doorway for a few minutes before the pieces finally fell into place. He picked up his phone and gave his brother a call.

“Al, is everything okay?” Matthew asked with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine. So that guy last night was a real cop, huh?”

Matt snorted. “Took you long enough to figure _that_ out.”

“He stopped by the house again.”

“Oh, god. Are you being arrested? Did he give you a ticket? A fine?”

“Nope. Even though I’ve got fine written all over me.”

Matt groaned. “Then why are you calling?”

“I’ve got a date!”

He heard the click of the phone hanging up on the other end. Alfred grinned and punched Arthur’s phone number into his contacts list under the name ‘Halloween hottie.’ He’d give the officer a call soon. It was only fair. Alfred had pulled a trick, so coffee would be his treat!

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween! Story credit goes to [this tumblr prompt](http://nadiahilker.tumblr.com/post/150048527910/halloween-prompts).


End file.
